Looking at life in a more positive view

LOOKING AT LIFE IN A MORE POSITIVE VIEW...

I get frustrated by constant negativity. 

My life view is mostly focused on the positive.

I like to find positive things about people, then try to understand the reasons for the negative side.

Things in our world look bad at times. 

But if we stop and remember that, regardless of the negative things, we have a positive God who makes the difference. 

God wants us to think on things that will point us to Him.

Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things."

That is what God wants us to think about. He wants us to be prepared, but to also remember to prepare our hearts for eternity with Him. You can have everything prepared for your physical life, but if you are not prepared for eternity, then you aren't really prepared.

Our thoughts need to be on things that are...

Filled with truth and honesty. Things that follow God's word and what he wants from us and for us.

Our thoughts need to be on things that are pure, those thoughts that only point us to a deeper, closer relationship with our Heavenly Father. The thoughts that are so full of God that sinful ones are pushed aside.

Thoughts of lovely things, like all the beauty around us that God created. Lovely thoughts of babies, and sunsets, and blessings. Things that only point to Him and His Wonderful Love for us. He wants so focused on Him that the burdens of this world fade away and only He is in focus. 

He wants us to think about admirable things. Like helping others to find Him. Tending every day things with his love and care, as tho we were doing them just for Him. 

Our focus should be on how excellent He is, how Wonderful He is, how much he loves us regardless of our sin. How much he wants a deeper personal relationship with Him. And on the peace he gives us in the turmoil of life. He wants our focus so much on him that he sent his only son to die on the cross so we would have a way to forever be with him.

God wants to give us Peace that passes all understanding, Love that knows no bounds, Faith that may start as a mustard seed, but grows in him with NO limits.

If our focus is so stuck on things of this world, we stress, we worry, we fret, we have health issues from it, and a long list of things that aren't pleasing. He wants our peace to be found only in him.

As I get closer to being the big 40, I reflect back on my life and see times of stress, worry, fretting, and so many other negative things. And I see more of the moments that I leaned on his power, his love, his peace, his grace. He has brought many people and situations in my life that have pointed me right back to him. Things that have reminded me that ultimately this world is not my home, I am just passing through. I am bound for a home in heaven that is much better than anything on earth. 

Memories of a generation that has left us for home...

 As I sit here reflecting on 44 years of life, many who were here when I was born have left for heaven.

That is the sad reality of life. 

I think of my grandparents, both Ducommun and Haynes.

The way their life choices shaped my parents, and the way my parents' life choices shaped my own.

What if generations before me had not chosen a life lived for Christ?

What if they had not chosen to stay married when things were hard?

The fact is, they chose Christ. They chose to stay and love even when it wasnt always easy.

They chose to live lives in adoration of our Heavenly Father. They chose to raise their families in the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. 

God blessed our family in that we have had, since birth, the opportunity and the freedom to choose to live for Him. Each generation past has made the firm choice to live for Christ.

Our lives going forward depend on us, the new middle generation, to keep the legacy that the older generations have built. To instill in the younger generations the Love of Christ, to work through the hard times in marriage, to raise our children and future grandchildren to love Jesus and love others.

If we don't teach them ways of the Lord not only with words, but by example, this legacy will be lost.

I strive to keep the legacy they have built going in my home and family. 

Both sides taught us that our relationship with God comes first, then our relationship with our spouse, and then our family. Its is vitaly important that we continue to keep that order going forward. If we don't, the world will take over, and our most precious ones will not follow us to heaven's gates. We can't take material possessions with us, but we can train up our children and share with our grandchildren the saving knowledge ot Jesus Christ, and then they too can choose to follow Christ.

When reality is not picture perfect

Life has ups and downs....

Your relationship with God has ups and downs. And NOT...I repeat NOT because God drops the ball...but because WE as humans do. We aren't perfect but God is. When we drop the ball God still has it, He is still there He never leaves...even when we leave Him. He desires a relationship with us but He doesn't force it. We make the choice to have that relationship with Him or not to.

There are times it's easy to worship God to adore him and the words come easy and flow well...then there are days when there are no words, worship isn't there and you feel numb. When a grown is all we have. But it's at those times more than ever that we need to raise our hands a worship. Even if it's a groan or just allowing God to flow through our hearts and allow the tars to fall. Life is hard, sin keeps us held back at times. It's hard to always be on top of everything from relationships, to just life, to bible reading to praying and being in fellowship with other Christians. But God knows this, that is why He has such grace and mercy. He LOVES us SO much. And He wants us to reach for him to seek him to find him, to call out in those moments when we just don't have the strength. He will NEVER EVER leave us. God knows our groans, he knows our sighs the good and bad, the moment you want to just break down, the moments you just want to jump for joy. And He wants to participate in every single moment.... literally! He just wants everything we have in us....

What is holding YOU back? 

What has you held at this place of unrest?

What keeps you from raising your hands in worship? 

God wants you! He doesn't care about your size, your weight, your health. He doesn't care if your hair and makeup are perfect or if your clothes are on trend. He doesn't care if your home is perfect or if it's a hoarders mess. God Wants YOU! God wants a relationship with You! You are called to live for Him alone. You are called to worship Him from the deepest valley to the highest mountain top. From the poorest level to the richest. 

You are called to share Him with those around you.

Life isn't easy, life is filled with distractions....it's what You are doing about those distractions, are you serving God through them? Are you sharing His love with others? Are you giving grace to those you encounter?

I have learned over the last few years that God wants me... unvarnished, in deep lows, in mountain top moments, in sad jagged crying fits, in joyful praise, and when struggling to breath while whispering God please help me. 

He wants ME in moments of frustration, in my anger, in times of questioning, in times of complete loneliness. God doesn't care what is going on He wants me. He wants me to reach for Him EVERY SINGLE DAY...every moment. He cares about Me. He cares about you. He loves you He loves me. He sent His ONLY Son to save us....that, That is Love. That shows He cares, He has Grace and Mercy.

He wants to walk with you, He wants to carry you, He wants to wipe away your tears. 

We will have struggles we were never promised a perfect life....but we were promised everlasting life through Jesus Christ. Reach out, grab ahold of that, Grab Gods hand, walk with Him, talk with Him....

If you want to talk about God or you want to pray with someone or someone to pray for you, reach out to me. I don't need details, just tell me "I need prayer". And I Will be praying, I will lift you to Our God who loves and cares.  

You are Precious in God's sight! ❤️

The reality of Disconnection

I sit here in the early hours of morning pondering connection. We have So many ways to connect with people, the world of "connection" literally at our finger tips.

But the reality of the matter is we are disconnected. 

God intended us to be with people. Now I'm not talking about the people who live in your home, or even your daily seen people(co-workers, the baristas, the people you pass daily on your way to whatever). What am talking about is the people you connect with, the person who encourages you, the one who asks you questions because they are your prayer warrior (even if you don't know it!) , the people you encourage, the ones you go have coffee or whatever fancy drink with, the one you invite over for a BBQ for literally no reason than just being together because they are "your" people.

God wants us to be connected with each other.

I have observed various levels of connection, disconnection, and ones in-between.

Yes I have had times of all of it. 

A time of connection where I felt valued , encouraged, befriended honestly, felt loved and cared for. And times of complete disconnection, no calls, no visits, completely ignored, people saying they missed me when I was actually there and they just didn't even notice.

For over a year I have felt disconnected. I just had a person say how I should go to church on Wednesday evenings since I drop the boys off for it anyway...ummm I AM there I am watching babies in the nursery. But they don't know that because they don't "see" me.  I also hear are you going to a different church...umm No! I am just coming out of a 8 month fog of mental stress, disconnection and keeping the outside world at arms length(because most people don't care) and attending church when I can handle people.

Let me be very honest here because the point of my posts is honesty....

When I go through times like the past 8 months I reach out at the beginning for support, for my prayer warriors, for those who encourage, for "my people"(the ones who if they need me I'm there),  for those people who aren't flakey and truly do like/love me.

But when you get burnt by your "support" people, ignored completely by the others and you are left with prayer warriors who don't like to visit, you realize who is and who is not truly your people.

In 8 months beyond family exactly 2 people not family have reached out more than once to check on ME(not the situations around me). 

Talk about disconnection. Before 8 months ago I felt I had a great supportive friend circle(not related).

When life gets hard, when tough things happen, when difficult choices have to be made, when you actually need support and people the mos... PEOPLE QUIT. They avoid, they disconnect, they ignore, they quit caring and loving, the encouragement stops, they essentially leave. People don't like dealing with hard things they would rather drop you like a hot potato and run. They would rather Stop being a support, not think about the fact they are ultimately crushing you, and run away.

God called us to lift each other up, to walk beside each other, to sit in the ashes, to hold each other when the tears fall, to remind each other that in the mess you have friends that are called by a loving God to love on you. 

 The harsh reality is, people can be cowards. They run, they quit, they walk away, they ignore, they just don't truly care.

It's sad, it's hurtful, it's enough to make you want to stay away from people and not try to reconnect.

We need each other, we need face to face conversations, we need support even in the hard times, we need a listening ear, we just need people and the good they have to offer...

We Need connection, and not just pictures, or perfect FB posts, or whatever other digital connection that's available. 

100 years ago, we were more connected. We still need that kind of connection! 

So next time you are in a public type setting, go connect with people. Don't text them from across the room or send them a reel or a Gif,  but get up, and have a face to face conversation. Get to know people you never know when a real conversation that makes your day better may happen or when you may touch someone's life deeply by just showing that you care.

Connection with others...not social media

Truth versus reality...

Having conversations.... typically conversations between people start with "Hi, How are you?".

Then they expect to hear positive things. Like I'm good, I am doing well, or other such pleasantries. They don't want to hear the truth. They dont want to go deep, they just want surface.

They dont want to hear how you really truly are.

When did we become so uncaring? When did coming along side another human being when they were struggling stop?

When did conversations about life and sharing the good as well as the bad stop?

Allow me to fling some light on it.

People stopped caring when they became self centered. When they only really cared about their appearance on social media. Speaking of social media, if people posted the truth all the time, social media wouldn't be that great. Again people only want to see the positive side of things, they don't want to know you are bawling while posting how wonderful life is when truthfully life is anything but wonderful.

They don't want to know that you worry deeply about the time you have left with a loved one. They don't want to know the hard truth about the wayward child, they really don't want to know the depth of your heart and the pain that resides there. Typical response would be go see a therapist. 

If people cared as much now as they did before social media, before only positive things were acceptable. Our world would be different.

We would sit down with a cup or tea, or coffee, or even just water and have heart to heart talks. We would share what was truly going on, and process through the things with those we love and who love us.

We would share the deep things that hurt, the things people now days don't want to hear about. Conversations would be filled with truth good and bad. We would be encouraging, we would hold someone while they let the tears flow over the things that hurt their heart. We would rejoice with them in the good things. We would sit in the ashes with them while their world seemingly fell apart. We would share those things that are now not acceptable. You know the real state of our relationship with God. The way we feel when our wayward child calls just to let you know they have yet again done ridiculous stuff and are in trouble yet again. Or we would talk about the things that make us sad, or down or the dreaded alone. This world is full of people who feel alone but because that isn't socially acceptable we don't talk about it.

This world is also filled with people who don't have a "circle of friends". They can't even keep friends at least not close ones, because again truth isn't allowed and frankly one friend is more truthful and the other one finds that unacceptable.Or distance separates and friendship isn't what it once was.

Again....when did we become so I caring?

When did telling the truth about how you were really doing become completely unacceptable?

Maybe we as Christians should rethink how we interact with others. Do we truly care about people and how they are or are we so self centered, social media perfect, and don't let the world know the truth that we have become liars? 

We have a choice to change that...tell the truth about how you are, put that real stuff out there. Be REAL with the world.

Just be warned people run from truth, it's rare when someone wants the truth about how you are really doing. That alone is heartbreaking.

So next time you ask how some one is, take a moment and truly ask, and care about them. 

Maybe you'll get the truth and maybe you won't. But I guarantee you that if you truly care people talk, people know when you are sincere or fake. Friendship is made on truth...raw truth.

Personally my circle of friends is small very small, because people don't care like they use to. I know in my heart when someone is sincere (I have that kind of heart) and I know when someone is just being polite. I have heard it called a childlike heart with adult understanding.

Who truly cares about you? Who can you tell the raw truth about your state to? Who in your circle truly cares and wants to sit and have a conversation that goes way beyond the surface?

Peace in a world of turmoil

 Peace in a world of turmoil.....

God has prompted me many times

 to put my thoughts into words and share them with the world.

I haven't.

For that I am ashamed...Someone needs these thoughts into words so they too

can find peace. And yet I have failed to put them down...

So here goes.....

March 2020....

Life as we know it changed with a whirlwind of chaos.

TP...Gone, Normal...Gone, Church...taken away, Gathering with a room full...gone.

Everyone in a panic over a virus we couldn't see.

Masks on, sanitizer being put on, distance being kept, people staying home.

Worry and confusion, panic and stress.

For what purpose?

God didn't create us to worry or panic. He created us to trust, to have faith, to seek Him.

He created us to help others, to show love, to share Him, to worship Him, to seek his face.

He wants us to be at peace in Him. 

But where did our peace go back in march when the world freaked out and panic fell upon us?

Our peace was still there, HE is our Peace. But we forgot to turn to Him during our panic.

Then while we all had to stay home away from other believers satan took a tighter grip and ran with what he thought was our peace.

But even he shudders... James 2:19(look it up)

During the COVID mess this past year, God has shown me how much we need His peace.

How much we need to seek Him for the peace we desperately need in our hearts and minds.

When we stopped going to church is when we needed that fellowship most. When we needed each others encouragement to fall on our face and Seek God with a new desire like never before.

God gave me peace. He showed me that leaning into him was more important than listening to the panic of the world. He showed me that now is the time to share with anyone and everyone that HE is and always has been on the throne. And He will take care of us regardless of what this world tosses at us. He wants us to seek him for our salvation. Not to place our country's "salvation" on a man. But rather Our personal salvation in Him, who came as a baby, lived among us and died to save us. So one day when he returns for us we can be caught up to meet him. 1 Thessalonians 4:17(look it up)

He wants us to find everything we need in him because he wants to provide for every need we have. We all have a NEED for Him. Even if we think we don't, we desperately do.

Now in light of political things happening in our country we have an even bigger need for Gods direction, Guidance, Peace, Hope,  and Love.

It doesn't matter what happens the next 4 years. God is and always will be in control. He is bigger than anything political leaders can do to us. 

When I think of this time in our lives, I always wonder.... how did the Jews feel when they were taken away to concentration camps? What kept some of them going? What made those that survived stay focused when they lost loved ones? 

I have read many stories that survivors have written and so many point to their salvation. That God is what sustained them. If they being brutally murdered, starving, over worked, un-bathed, and a long list of other things can walk away from that horrific time to tell us that they lived knowing that God was their Savior. Then what makes us think that God isn't here during our time that as of this point is not like what the Jews suffered. God is HERE! He desires a close relationship with us. But in our panic we forget to draw close to him. We forget to read our bibles and seek His peace which we ultimately need.

When was the last time you took time to seek God? To ask him for a peace that passeth all understanding. Philippians 4:7(look it up) He wants our hearts and minds focused on Him. Seeking his peace and his comfort. Trusting Him with our lives, our family, our country... everything!

I am not a preacher. I am not a teacher. And I am not preaching here...

But rather sharing what has been on my heart and mind for almost a year. That God has been diligently prompting me to share, and in my human nature I stalled. 

I may post more at another point. But for now, this is what needed to be put out there.

May God bless you!

VH

Growing.....

Growing.......

Growing, that word says a lot!

Things that grow...

Kids, faith, marriage, bodies, plants, animals.....The list is endless!

Lets start with kids.

In 14+ years as a Mom, I have seen some serious growth in my kids.

Not just physical growth either. But spiritual growth.

One child has simple faith and rightly so being so young.

One child has a deeper knowledge than we will ever understand.

Yet another child has a difficult time seeing past self to understand the depth of Christs love.

And finally another has a faith and understanding of Christs love that shows much growth in the last few years and much more will come as time goes on.

Our own personal growth...

Some times we as christians have moments of growth and moments of just standing still.

Other times we refuse to grow because of our own selfish ways.

But Growth is important. It is how our Faith in Christ deepens.We do not know the depth that God wants us to reach, if we dont reach out to Him and seek those depths.

I know years ago I was in stand still mode. I didnt want to go deeper. I didnt want to grow. I just wanted to skirt around on my family's beliefs and hope for the best.

But God had bigger things instore for me, He still does.

In the last 6 years my faith has grown by leaps and bounds. I can look back and see its growth. 

There are some things about the growth I have no words for.

But there are others I have simple words for.. words like:

Grace...Showing it to my husband, my kids, my parents, my in-laws, everyone around me. Oh that was a hard one to learn(and keep learning).

Thankfulness...being thankful for what we have not constantly seeking out wants.

Contentedness...finding contentment in life and the situation we are in day by day.

To further explain these, lets go to the verses God showed me.

For GRACE:

Psalms 103:8 (NIV) 

The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger abounding in love.

God was trying to show me that I needed to have more grace and compassion in my relationships, to be slow to become angry and in doing that show love.

Some times showing grace to those closest to us is hard. They see our day to day moods and typically get the short end of our grace and love stick. Its easy to lashout and throw all our internal junk at those close to us because we know they will forgive and love us any way. But we hurt those around us deeply and God wants us to show those around us grace and mercy the same way He shows us grace and mercy. 

For THANKFULNESS:

1Thessalonians 5:18(NIV)

Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is Gods will for you in Christ Jesus.

We have been on many roads in 19 years of marriage. And I have found that regardless of the circumstances that God is always there. He wants you to be thankful when you are "rich" and when you are "poor". Money helps yes...but money is not everything.

Being thankful in ALL things is what God wants of us. Can I be completely honest here.....I look back at our broke years and those years contain so much joy. I look back at our "rich" years and yes there is joy there but its centered around things. I love the poor years, they contain so much depth and less "stuff".

Being thankful is a choice.

For CONTENTEDNESS:

Philippians 4:12-13(NIV)

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

It didnt matter in the past where we were at, be it in a trailer in a small trailer park, in a house 30 minutes from family, in a camper 6+ hours from home, or on the family farm. I have made every place home. I find life much more enjoyable when I am content in where I am. But being content in certain situations was harder at times. God was trying to show me that being content in Him was more important, than being content in the place I was in. He is where true contentment comes from. I want His contentment. 

Growth can not happen unless we are willing to put our selfish stuff aside and focus on how God wants us to grow. And that requires, time in scriptures, time in prayer, seeking and asking God what areas we need to grow in. And when we ask to grow....WOW!! How God grows us!

Growing in Him is the most Amazing ever. It contains every emotion.  

It has good moments and bad moments. The bad is God weeding out the stuff that we've allowed in that is hurting us. The good is God filling in those bad places(that have been cleaned out) with His Goodness.

His goodness, His love, His Grace.....Everything from Him Is AMAZING....Because HE is an AMAZING GOD!!!

So with these thoughts in mind.....I want you to be bold to step out in faith, and ask God to grow you. Then while waiting, seek Him in the scriptures and on your knees. Then prepare to grow, because He will grow you!

God Bless you!