The reality of Disconnection

I sit here in the early hours of morning pondering connection. We have So many ways to connect with people, the world of "connection" literally at our finger tips.

But the reality of the matter is we are disconnected. 

God intended us to be with people. Now I'm not talking about the people who live in your home, or even your daily seen people(co-workers, the baristas, the people you pass daily on your way to whatever). What am talking about is the people you connect with, the person who encourages you, the one who asks you questions because they are your prayer warrior (even if you don't know it!) , the people you encourage, the ones you go have coffee or whatever fancy drink with, the one you invite over for a BBQ for literally no reason than just being together because they are "your" people.

God wants us to be connected with each other.

I have observed various levels of connection, disconnection, and ones in-between.

Yes I have had times of all of it. 

A time of connection where I felt valued , encouraged, befriended honestly, felt loved and cared for. And times of complete disconnection, no calls, no visits, completely ignored, people saying they missed me when I was actually there and they just didn't even notice.

For over a year I have felt disconnected. I just had a person say how I should go to church on Wednesday evenings since I drop the boys off for it anyway...ummm I AM there I am watching babies in the nursery. But they don't know that because they don't "see" me.  I also hear are you going to a different church...umm No! I am just coming out of a 8 month fog of mental stress, disconnection and keeping the outside world at arms length(because most people don't care) and attending church when I can handle people.

Let me be very honest here because the point of my posts is honesty....

When I go through times like the past 8 months I reach out at the beginning for support, for my prayer warriors, for those who encourage, for "my people"(the ones who if they need me I'm there),  for those people who aren't flakey and truly do like/love me.

But when you get burnt by your "support" people, ignored completely by the others and you are left with prayer warriors who don't like to visit, you realize who is and who is not truly your people.

In 8 months beyond family exactly 2 people not family have reached out more than once to check on ME(not the situations around me). 

Talk about disconnection. Before 8 months ago I felt I had a great supportive friend circle(not related).

When life gets hard, when tough things happen, when difficult choices have to be made, when you actually need support and people the mos... PEOPLE QUIT. They avoid, they disconnect, they ignore, they quit caring and loving, the encouragement stops, they essentially leave. People don't like dealing with hard things they would rather drop you like a hot potato and run. They would rather Stop being a support, not think about the fact they are ultimately crushing you, and run away.

God called us to lift each other up, to walk beside each other, to sit in the ashes, to hold each other when the tears fall, to remind each other that in the mess you have friends that are called by a loving God to love on you. 

 The harsh reality is, people can be cowards. They run, they quit, they walk away, they ignore, they just don't truly care.

It's sad, it's hurtful, it's enough to make you want to stay away from people and not try to reconnect.

We need each other, we need face to face conversations, we need support even in the hard times, we need a listening ear, we just need people and the good they have to offer...

We Need connection, and not just pictures, or perfect FB posts, or whatever other digital connection that's available. 

100 years ago, we were more connected. We still need that kind of connection! 

So next time you are in a public type setting, go connect with people. Don't text them from across the room or send them a reel or a Gif,  but get up, and have a face to face conversation. Get to know people you never know when a real conversation that makes your day better may happen or when you may touch someone's life deeply by just showing that you care.

Connection with others...not social media

Truth versus reality...

Having conversations.... typically conversations between people start with "Hi, How are you?".

Then they expect to hear positive things. Like I'm good, I am doing well, or other such pleasantries. They don't want to hear the truth. They dont want to go deep, they just want surface.

They dont want to hear how you really truly are.

When did we become so uncaring? When did coming along side another human being when they were struggling stop?

When did conversations about life and sharing the good as well as the bad stop?

Allow me to fling some light on it.

People stopped caring when they became self centered. When they only really cared about their appearance on social media. Speaking of social media, if people posted the truth all the time, social media wouldn't be that great. Again people only want to see the positive side of things, they don't want to know you are bawling while posting how wonderful life is when truthfully life is anything but wonderful.

They don't want to know that you worry deeply about the time you have left with a loved one. They don't want to know the hard truth about the wayward child, they really don't want to know the depth of your heart and the pain that resides there. Typical response would be go see a therapist. 

If people cared as much now as they did before social media, before only positive things were acceptable. Our world would be different.

We would sit down with a cup or tea, or coffee, or even just water and have heart to heart talks. We would share what was truly going on, and process through the things with those we love and who love us.

We would share the deep things that hurt, the things people now days don't want to hear about. Conversations would be filled with truth good and bad. We would be encouraging, we would hold someone while they let the tears flow over the things that hurt their heart. We would rejoice with them in the good things. We would sit in the ashes with them while their world seemingly fell apart. We would share those things that are now not acceptable. You know the real state of our relationship with God. The way we feel when our wayward child calls just to let you know they have yet again done ridiculous stuff and are in trouble yet again. Or we would talk about the things that make us sad, or down or the dreaded alone. This world is full of people who feel alone but because that isn't socially acceptable we don't talk about it.

This world is also filled with people who don't have a "circle of friends". They can't even keep friends at least not close ones, because again truth isn't allowed and frankly one friend is more truthful and the other one finds that unacceptable.Or distance separates and friendship isn't what it once was.

Again....when did we become so I caring?

When did telling the truth about how you were really doing become completely unacceptable?

Maybe we as Christians should rethink how we interact with others. Do we truly care about people and how they are or are we so self centered, social media perfect, and don't let the world know the truth that we have become liars? 

We have a choice to change that...tell the truth about how you are, put that real stuff out there. Be REAL with the world.

Just be warned people run from truth, it's rare when someone wants the truth about how you are really doing. That alone is heartbreaking.

So next time you ask how some one is, take a moment and truly ask, and care about them. 

Maybe you'll get the truth and maybe you won't. But I guarantee you that if you truly care people talk, people know when you are sincere or fake. Friendship is made on truth...raw truth.

Personally my circle of friends is small very small, because people don't care like they use to. I know in my heart when someone is sincere (I have that kind of heart) and I know when someone is just being polite. I have heard it called a childlike heart with adult understanding.

Who truly cares about you? Who can you tell the raw truth about your state to? Who in your circle truly cares and wants to sit and have a conversation that goes way beyond the surface?